


I didn't know that I could feel more

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bathrooms, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, M/M, Naked Cuddling, Out of Character, Out of Character Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sad, Uke Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), ereri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9979706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In wich Levi is (completely out of character) really confused about his feelings and has absolutely no idea how to deal with them so he resorts to going into a bathroom and crying like a baby, while simitaneously making Eren confused as hell.~~Levi had to take a moment, to just get a hold of himself. Because sweet Sina, save him. That was Eren Yeager, the litteraly man of Levi's dreams, sleeping peacefully -and gracefully mind him- on the other side of Levi's bed. He cursed himself silently. He had always told himself he would never let people get close after Isabel and Farlan died. Yet here he was, trying not to have his skin melt off of his face because this brunette brat of a Titan Shifter had gone and made Levi's little, dark, stone cold, shrivelled up heart beat so fast Levi felt like he may as well have run right from wall Maria to Wall Sina then back again.~~He gulped again and tore his eyes away from Eren's and managed to stand up fully. He was about to turn and just walk back to the bathroom but he chucked one last glance at Eren and froze up all over again - stuff this last glance bullshit why didn't Levi just turn around.





	

**Author's Note:**

> HA! GAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY
> 
> What's that that I see? It's Levi being more gay then originally planned! HORAY FOR GAY!

Levi's eyes slowly lifted open, the golden shimmering light that rained down on the window from outside, was splashed across the room through the curtains, in a beautiful array of different shades of light auburn. Well, it would have been beautiful, had it not been shinning directly in Levi's eyes, effectively blinding him. Oh and look - according to the water clock -  it was roughly Five-thirty in the morning, on their day off.

Levi's lips parted, letting his thick, heated breathe, roll from within him and the cool morning air rush down his wind pipe and flood his lungs with life like a river in spring. Blinking a few times, Levi slowly and groggily reached a hand up to rub at his itchy eyes, wiping the sleep from them. He let his eyelids fall shut once again, rolled his body over to his left and tugged the covers further up his shoulders, before letting his hand fall back down on the mattress.

Levi took a deep breathe in and shifted slightly on the mattress, when his hand lightly brushed against something warm and - Fleshy?

Levi let his breathe out through his nostrils, somehow managed to drag his eyelids open to see what that wonderfully warm intrusion -that Levi was having a hard time not just throwing caution to the wind and wrapping his arms around- had graced Levi with its presence in his bed. His vision was groggy at first, and he was vaguely aware that his hand was now rubbing itself along the warm surface, then his vision cleared.

And Levi literally fell out of his own bloody bed, upper-body shooting bolt upright, hands retracting so fast away that he heard something crack, and he shoved himself back with such force the space between the back of Levi's body and the wall was now non-existent.

Levi gulped, but it didn't help in the slightest. All form of moisture had been sucked from his gullet. What was once nice, cool, refreshing, morning air. Was now hot, heavy air, that held all the weight of Levi's embarrassment. His face was boiling, the blush he just damn-well knew that had appeared was clawing its way down his neck, threatening to spill down his chest.

 

Eren, gosh darn, Yeager, had been that wondrous, glorious, warmth. To think Levi had wanted nothing more then to have that warmth engulf him just a minute ago.

 

Levi couldn't bring himself to tear away his eyes. He just stared at Eren's gorgeously tanned skin, the lean muscles on his back that rippled with each deep breathe he took, the small sticky beads of perspiration that ran down his spine like rain droplets. That pretty shade of dark brown his messy locks were, that just _totally_  complimented his skin tone. But oh sweet Maria, those _arms_.

Eren just _had_ to sleep with his arms over the top of the sheets, giving Levi a view that had the saliva returning to his mouth, and drool running down the sides of his chin. The muscles were toned to perfection, and somehow those arms were able to look so strong and built, yet they where still somewhat slender, making them look gentle and inviting. Levi could just envision those arms pinning him here against the wall and - no, bad Levi, don't think like that.

Levi licked his lips, before wiping up the nasty string of drool that had run down his chin. Sucking in a sharp breathe, Levi began to walk over to were his towel was normally placed, on the small rack just outside the door to his private bathroom. Only it wasn't there.

Levi sucked in his teeth, pressed his lips together in a fine line before turning very, _very_ , slowly and stiffly around - of course the bloody towel was on the ground beside the bed on Eren's side- Levi gulped, loudly, in fact he was surprised when Eren didn't wake up from how loud it was.

Levi had to take a moment, to just get _a hold of himself._ Because sweet Sina, save him. That was Eren Yeager, the litteraly man of Levi's dreams, sleeping peacefully -and gracefully mind him- on the other side of _Levi's bed_. He cursed himself silently. He had always told himself he would never let people get close after Isabel and Farlan died. Yet here he was, trying not to have his skin melt off of his face because this brunette brat of a Titan Shifter had gone and made Levi's little, dark, stone cold, shrivelled up heart beat so fast Levi felt like he may as well have run right from wall Maria to Wall Sina then back again.

Levi's mouth went dry again. He, someway or another, managed to move his legs. Stiffly so, yet he was still moving them at least. Tip-toed his way around the bed, scrabbled on the ground to grab his towel, only to realise that there was a second towel on the floor.

Levi froze, memories of the previous night flashed through his mind. Levi couldn't move as his already raging blush crawled down his chest, and the air in the room was suddenly a great deal more hot then before -because that was somehow still possible. He gulped again as he slowly began to straightened up, his legs felt like dead weights attached to his body, and he suddenly didn't remember how to use his muscles anymore.

"Levi?"

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He was suddenly painfully aware that he wasn't wearing any form of covering either. He gulped again and looked over towards Eren.

 

Now that was one big-ass mistake.

 

Eren's big, glistening, green doe eyes had glimmering streaks of gold through them. His drop-dead-gorgeous smile made a swarm of Butterflies charge down Levi's throat and then swim in a gut-retching, churning patterns in the pit of Levi's stomach. He gulped again and tore his eyes away from Eren's and managed to stand up fully. He was about to turn and just walk back to the bathroom but he chucked one last glance at Eren and froze up all over again - stuff this last glance bullshit why didn't Levi just turn around.

Levi's chest was rib-crushingly tight, his gut was sucked in so far it was agonising, and his breathing was rough and gravel like. He felt his arms go slightly lip and the towels in his hand -thank Sina- covered up his groin. Face flushed and knees weak, Levi just stood there like a bloody fool.

 

And for Sinas sake, Levi sure damn felt like a fool, and a terrified fool at that.

 

He'd never been in love before, he had never felt so weak simply by being in the same room as someone. He didn't know what to do -he was supposed to be Humanity's Strongest Soldier for crying out loud- yet this little brat was making Levi want to bawl his eyes out and not even Levi himself knew why. Actually, now that he thought of it, Levi's eyes were glazed over with water, and to hell with him if he was going to let this kid see him cry.

"Levi? What's wrong?".

Oh sweet, sweet Rose, please will something give him the strength to turn and get to bathroom. Levi took a deep breathe in, and went to let the air gush out from his lungs only to have it come out as the most completely, and utterly, pathetic whimper Levi's ever heard in his entire lifetime. That was what gave Levi the push he needed and he turned and full on sprinted to the bathroom door, flinging it open - not caring as it crashed into the wall with a bang and bounced back toward him - Before slamming the door shut with all his might and scrambling in a hase of adrenaline to bolt the lock.

 

Click!

 

Levi fell against the door with a soft thud. His heart pounding inside his skull. White noise filled his ears as he slid slowly down to the floor. He was vaguely aware of Eren knocking on the door asking to be let in. But Levi wouldn't let him, he was just so overwhelmed he couldn't think straight. He didn't know why he felt the urge to cry, he didn't know why his heart was beating so fast, he didn't know why he couldn't move when he thought about last night, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, how to _deal_ with these feelings          -although something told him that locking himself in a bathroom and bawling for literally no reason probably wasn't the best way.

He was so used to just being able to fake his way through life. To just shoot or punch his way out of problems. To just act like he didn't care when people died. But he couldn't do that in this situation, he had to face the fact that he was just so gosh-darn _gone,_ over Eren, and he was scared to say the least.

He took a deep breathe and tried to fight back his emotions. He always hated those things, they had brought him nothing but pain, and any good was quickly forgotten. In reality Levi was no where near the stone cold, cruel, violent person he pretended to be day in day out. Instead he was a vulnerable, insecure person, full of nothing but raw emotion. He put a mask over the real face he had, his real face would cry when someone died, smile when people arrived back alive from expeditions, laugh when people made jokes, and grew gentle and loving -just like a mother- whenever others where hurt.

But Levi had buried all those emotions behind the lies that made up his daily persona. He hadn't faced his real feelings in so long, he no longer knew how to properly handle them - when he couldn't just punch or kick them away, or put on a disinterested look and make people leave him alone.

But now he was sitting here, a flustered mess, and each beat of Levi's heart sent rivers of emotions through out his body, making his veins burn with the sensation and his blush deepen that almost impossibly dark shade of pink. His head grew groggy and his thoughts clouded, as the floods of emotion churned endlessly through his mind, his ears filled with the pounding sound of his own drumming heart beat.

Levi's senses heightened, he was able to feel how the tears where created in his eyes before surfacing and running down his cheeks. How his voice box moved with the wind in his lungs, to create the vibrations in the air that were the sobs being wretched from within him. How each time the muscles in his heart gave pump, after pump, the blood would flow in those methodical tidal waves throughout his arteries. The waves crashing and breaking through his body making his muscles loosen - like a knot being untied - and his legs slowly slumping against the firm, cold tiles of the bathroom floor.

Time seemed to slow for Levi. He watched the tiny dust particles drift through the fire coloured streaks of light shining through the small, barred bathroom window. The light was shining down directly on Levi yet he felt no warmth. He felt lonely here. He wanted so badly to feel warmth, to have Eren wrap his perfect arms around Levi's waist line and hold him till the sun dissapeares again behind the walls.

 

That was when he realised why he was felt like this.

 

He was in love, so in love. He cried with how much his heart ached for Eren. He went tense because he couldn't believe he was actually together with the person he loved and they were actually here and alive. His heart raced because he didn't really know how to love someone and he was so nervous he was going to mess it up - like he always had in the past.

 

Levi didn't even remember getting up and unlocking the door so fast he nearly snapped the lock off, doesn't even remember throwing the door open so fast Eren nearly fell over.

He only knows that now he is damn well bawling his eyes out, his sobs wracking his entire body as he clings to Eren -like if he doesn't hold on tight enough the world will shatter and leave him falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

Levi's voice box can't create any sounds other then the sounds that form the words 'I love you'. He can't string together an explanation as to why he's clawing at Eren's back, trying desperately to touch every part of Eren he can reach. So he just cries, with everything in him, every tear that runs down his face and neck a stream of endless love that rages from Levi's heart like rushing rapids. Every sob another stuttered out profession of his undying affections.  
He can feel every millimetre of Eren's skin that comes into contact with his own, as he pulls his lover impossibly closer. Wants nothing more then to feel Eren, and know that Eren is his own.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Levi leant his forehead against Eren's. Their breaths mingling together in the morning air. The light from outside is dancing across the room, it's an even deeper shade of orange then before and Levi would swear on his life that Eren's skin was bloody-well glowing. Let's his muscles grow weaker before he finally falls to the floor in a heap.

Eren's hands start at Levi's wrists, before running smoothly up his cream coloured arms that are dusted ever so lightly with scars. Dancing their way across Levi's shoulders as Eren bends down and buries his nose and lips in those raven locks, placing soft kisses along Levi's scalp and inhaling his intoxicating scent.

"Eren."

It's a small whimper, almost inaudible from were Levi's head rests on the floor infront of Eren's knees. Still, Eren hears that silent plea of 'hold me' from the blended sound to Levi's voice. Levi sits up, wrapping his arms around Eren's neck and rests his legs on the hard wood floor on either side of Eren. Eren's arms slither their way around Levi's waist and he rubs his cheek up against Levi's, feeling the trail of moisture left behind from the tears that stain Levi's face.

"Sssssssshhhhhhhhhh."

Levi has to hold himself together again when one of Eren's hands intertwines itself in Levi's hair. Eren's thumb rubbing shoothing circles on the back of Levi's skull. Eren's other hand began to rub Levi's back in the same manner, calming Levi, and letting him finally settle down.

"I l-love you, s-so much Levi."

Welp - So much for settling down - now Levi wants to burst into tears all over again. He hugs Eren closer, somehow ignoring the way their groins rub against each other slightly. Let's his fingers fist in Eren's Hair as his head falls down to rest on Eren's shoulder.

They stay like that for awhile, just feeling each others presence.

Until Eren lifts his hands and lays them on Levi's shoulders and pushes him back with the slightest amount of pressure. Levi gets the hint and sits back on his thighs, looking up at Eren, his deep blue eyes have a silver shine to them in the light.

"C-can you tell me? what's wrong, I mean," Eren whispers it - like he's asking Levi to not tell anyone a grand secret, or something.

Eren's hands are cupping Levi's face, staring him directly in the eyes and not breaking his gaze. Levi brings his hands up and rubs at his eyes, wiping away the tears from his thick lashes and rosy cheeks. Eren's conflicted about being worried because _Levi_ was crying, but also finding the sight of Levi sniffling and his, surprisingly small, hands rubbing and wiping at his eyes the most adorable thing in the world

"Nothing's wrong brat, I-I... I just... I love you, 'is all."

Not even a second passed before their lips met, slow and sensually. There wasn't any sudden explosion of need and lust, instead just passion and love slowly began to build as they made out, their lips barley touching as to keep the kiss as gentle as possible, while they entangled themselves in one another.

Things never got heated past that. They just stayed in that position of love and compassion, kissing each other breathless. Until they finally got back onto the bed, only to entangle their limbs once again, in a gentle, warm, caring embrace that held more love the they could ever express through words.

Levi's head was buried in the crook of Eren's neck when Eren mumbled out a soft, "Bath?"

"Later", had been Levi's feeble response. After all, he was soaking in the feeling of Eren's body heat like the warmth of bath water.

 

~~~~~~

 

It was another thirty minutes before Levi decided that he had let time stretch on long enough, and he needed to get clean. Even then, Eren just went in to the bathroom, ran the bath, then just picked Levi up off of the bed when it was ready.

Levi didn't realise he could feel more warm till he was stationed in the tub, his and Eren's legs wrapped together as they sat side by side in the warm water, making the tubs unessecerily large size suddenly become extremely convenient.

Levi had buried his emotions so deep inside him he didn't even know if they were really their anymore. He had been so stone cold he didn't realise he could feel love for someone to the extent he would cry over them. He didn't realise he could care for somebody, beyond the everyday 'this is comrade-to-comrade care' facade he kept up everyday.

 

He didn't realise it was possible for him to feel more then he knew.

 

**Author's Note:**

> *ignores canon harder then originally intended*
> 
> I feel like I need to just clarify a few things.
> 
> Levi and Eren do not have an unstable relationship in this, Levi is crying Because he's really confused and his body doesn't really know how to handle these emotions, wich as stated multiple times (I think), he hasn't felt before.
> 
> He is terrified of messing things up, he is not terrified of Eren. (If anything it would be the other way around, but it's not like that no is afraid of anyone).
> 
> Anyway I think we just need to take note that Levi is extremely OOC in this so yeeeeeaaaaah.


End file.
